Now What?

Two

i don’t claim to have all that much clarity of insight these days, what with all the emotional turmoil i am experiencing, but i think maybe the problem is this: i need some distance yet i cannot get any.

i cannot get any distance because, i think, Katy still has my heart. When she broke up with me, as in all breakups, she was supposed to give it back _ and she probably thinks she did. And to be fair, maybe she actually did give it back, at least on her part _ to the extent she was able…and i don’t think she intended to keep it.

But i think she still has it. i gave it away too quickly, or _ perhaps _ i gave it away appropriately and she just wasn’t interested. Or, maybe…i don’t know. Like i said, i don’t have much clarity of insight these days.